


By Now

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Category: Black Panther (2018), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Parent T'Challa (Marvel), Parent Tony Stark, Parent-Child Relationship, References to Depression, T'Challa tries, Tony Feels, Tony's A+ Parenting, and sometimes fails, but its real A+ tho, but that's ok because he's not a tit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 00:15:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11702790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: Tony had never considered kids even though he loved them. When he was young he was a reckless asshole who shouldn’t have been within three miles of any child ever but as an adult he feared if he had a kid he’d screw it up like Howard had with him.When he has a child with T'Challa though the last thing he expects, though, is to end up being the parent that dealt with their kid better.





	By Now

**Author's Note:**

> T'Challa's kid's name is technically the name of one of his cousins in the comics, but I liked the name and figured it would make some sense that it's a family name or something like that. I just didn't want to name him something stupid like XName jr. Gross.

Tony had never considered kids even though he loved them. When he was young he was a reckless asshole who shouldn’t have been within three miles of any child ever but as an adult he feared if he had a kid he’d screw it up like Howard had with him. Things hadn’t exactly changed with T’Challa but they weren’t exactly the same either. T’Challa was bright, and understanding, and stable, and a lot of other things Tony needed even if their relationship was _very_ long distance. And Tony was good for T’Challa too or so his sister claimed. Tony had his doubts but T’Challa insisted that Tony was a light in his life that he needed.

As a result T’Challa had brought up children a few years after they had gotten married- in Wakanda seems how same-sex marriage hadn’t been legalized in America at the time- T’Challa was disgusted. Tony had put it off for a good two years before T’Challa reminded Tony that he is a king, he was expected to have an heir. So after some deliberation and questions of custody and time they had Jakarra, T’Challa’s biological son though Tony loved him no less than if he were Tony’s biological son too. And took offense to people suggesting he _should_ , usually by asking he wanted ‘one of his own’ like Jakarra _wasn’t_ his.

The last thing he expects, though, is to end up being the parent that dealt with their kid better. It wasn’t that T’Challa was a _bad_ father by any means, he wasn’t, but he did have a clear disconnect with how their son functioned. Tony knew the symptoms well because he lived them, but the problem was that he experienced depression completely differently than his kid. He got that lethargy, hopelessness, being disconnected from things, and a half a dozen other classic and non-classic symptoms but they way he dealt with it wasn’t the way Jax did. Tony chose to bury himself in his work, doing everything and anything to stop feeling things regardless of how tired he got. If he was honest it was a form of self-harm that no one ever called him on because being productive was a good thing, especially in his line of work.

Jax though, he face planted in a bed and didn’t move until someone took a broom and shooed him into a shower to wash the depression off. To say T’Challa reacted badly was an understatement. Tony didn’t think he _meant_ to be an ass but when you call someone with depression lazy it doesn’t go well, especially when Tony tried to defend the poor kid only to have T’Challa ask what reason Jax had to be depressed. That wasn’t how mental illness worked but at that point Tony just walked away before he said something stupid.

“You know he isn’t trying to be an asshole even if that was a total dick move, right?” Tony asks Jax, who was now lying across his bed looking deeply unimpressed.

“Really? Because it doesn’t feel like it,” Jax snaps.

“Yeah, he really should have kept his mouth shut because what he said about you being lazy was as untrue as it was ignorant. But he didn’t say it to hurt you, he said it because he doesn’t understand what you’re going through,” Tony tells him gently.

“He understands _you_ ,” Jax mumbles, “you’re more messed up than I am. No offense.”

Tony laughs, “none taken, it’s true. But T’Challa met me like this, he’s known no other version of me but the one who second guesses all his relationships, works too much, and sometimes gets despondent. You though? Last year you were student class president, a straight A student, a star on several different sports teams, politically active, and in a relationship. You can’t blame the guy for being confused when one day you just _stopped_. You and I both know you worked yourself so hard you stopped working period but to him its like you just up and quit everything one day. He’s worried about you even if he’s going about it all wrong.”

Jax rolls his eyes and Tony has to wonder if that particular look was genetic or something. T’Challa didn’t roll his eyes often being a politician and all but when he did the look was the exact same as the one Jax just made. It was amazing how much the Jax resembled T’Challa physically. When it came to general personality though he happened to be more like Tony. “He complains about everything I do, he always has. He complains about my _name_ for shit sakes.”

Tony winces because it was true even if he knew where T’Challa was coming from. “To be fair he doesn’t like the Americanized version of your name because he feels like you’re trying to distance yourself from your Wakandan heritage,” he says. That was an argument they’ve been having since Jax was thirteen and decided to nickname himself. Tony went with it and T’Challa _refused_. He understood where T’Challa was coming from but Tony was pretty sure Jax just thought the name sounded cool. It wasn’t like Wakandans didn’t have nicknames but T’Challa has been resistant to the name.

“It wasn’t meant to be an Americanized version of the name, I just thought it sounded cool! Why does he have to complain about it, you’ve given him like seven hundred stupid nicknames and you call Rhodey _platypus_. I feel like that last one is the real problem here but it’s fine and not desecrating Wakanda when _you_ do it. Why are you even defending him if you agree with me?” Jax asks, mustering enough energy to be angry at him.

Because, Tony wants to say, he knew what having a bad relationship with your father was like and he didn’t want that for his son. But that was a bullshit answer and he knew it. He shouldn’t project his own problems on to his kid and by proxy tell him to accept behavior that was doing more to hurt him than help him just because Tony knew T’Challa wasn’t trying to hurt his son. “You’re right,” he says eventually, “whether or not he means to he’s not treating you very well and you shouldn’t accept that. But don’t act like I’ve never mentioned any of this stuff to him before because I have. The man is stubborn- I’ve spent _hours_ arguing about your damn name.”

Jax looks surprised, “you have?” he asks.

Tony nods, “and a half a dozen other things he does but that one seems to be the most popular for some reason. I don’t see why he cares what you call yourself but he makes an argument for your Wakandan heritage. He thinks this was a product of choosing to go to high school in America.” He had gone through grade school in Wakanda, Tony visited when he could, but he had chose to live in America and complete his schooling there and T’Challa thought the name change must have been to blend in. Tony had thought that Jakarra had a lot of syllables and he wanted something shorter you know, like most people did. There was a reason Tony rarely used ‘Anthony’. If Jax had an actual _problem_ with his full name Tony would be concerned but it hadn’t been a problem until T’Challa made it one so now he hated the name.

“Jax is shorter, why does he not get that!” Jax says, making a frustrated noise.

“To be fair it’s not like he has a nickname but his name also doesn’t lend itself to one. What’d we call him? T? Challa? That just sounds stupid,” Tony says, shaking his head. Jax laughs just a little and Tony smiles. “Look, I’m going to talk to him okay? I get that he’s trying to look out for you but he’s doing a shit job of it right now so um, I guess we’ll see how this goes.”

*

It takes all of five seconds for his conversation with T’Challa to go from one to ninety even if he’s trying to keep his calm. “You let him get away with too much,” T’Challa accuses.

“Get away with what? Feeling useless all day in bed but not having the energy to get out of said bed? Come on T’Challa, you think I _like_ that this is happening? It’s not like he’s even falling behind in his school work, he gets it done,” Tony points out. He understood where Jax was but he couldn’t just put everything on hold and hope something got better so the deal was that he had to do _something_. Tony had a preference for showering not that he told Jax that if he decided math homework was his daily Thing To Do. He figured showering could be put on hold if he at least got the homework done and then he could shoo the kid into the shower later.

“Tony, he has nearly dropped everything in his life and you’re _letting_ him! Does this not worry you?” T’Challa asks. He looks like he’s having a really hard time seeing things from Tony’s point of view, which would be more fair if he was actually trying to see what Tony was seeing.

“And what do you suggest I do then? I can’t _force_ him to do things, I can’t drag him to class every day so he can be miserable in his desk while I hold his hand. I can’t force him to do sports or student council or political things either T’Challa. I’m trying to work with him within the power that I’ve got. Maybe I can’t force him to do stuff but I can try my best to make sure he does _something_.” Even if it was just get out of bed that day it was _something_.

“If you put more pressure on him he would not be this way!” T’Challa says and Tony outright rolls his eyes at that.

“Oh sure, like you’ve been doing this whole time and what results are you getting? Oh right, you two can’t even agree on what _name_ to call him. Give it up T’Challa. I get that you’re worried but come on, you’ve known me for years, when has forcing me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with doing gotten you or anyone else anywhere? You’ll get the exact same results with Jakarra. I know what Jakarra is going through right now and try as you might, and I know you’re trying on some level, you just don’t get it,” Tony tells him, pleads with him really. He doesn’t want this to turn into some massive right; he just wants T’Challa to stop trying to force their kid into something that wasn’t going to work.

“Yes, I know exactly how you turned out, that is the problem!” T’Challa says and Tony recoils like he’s been slapped. T’Challa realizes his mistake immediately and tony can see the instant regret. “Tony, that is not what I mean,” he says quickly but Tony shakes his head.

“No T’Challa that’s _exactly_ what you mean. I turned into a womanizing drunken jackass. I wouldn’t want that for our son either. I just thought you were smart enough to see past all that,” he says. T’Challa reaches out for him, an apology quick on his lips but Tony steps back and shakes his head. He wasn’t having this conversation right now.

*

On Wednesday tony finds Jax on the couch freshly showered leaning over some English homework he was just _praying_ he didn’t ask for help with. Tony paid someone to get him through English when he had to take it. He didn’t give a shit about metaphors and all that other poetry crap and couldn’t be assed to learn it so he paid someone else to do it for him. “You’re productive today,” he notes as he sits down with his morning coffee.

Jax looks up and frowns, “I literally showered and read over this assignment,” he says.

Tony shrugs, “still something. Better than what I’ve done this morning, I laid in bed for like three hours trying to think up some useful and sellable design only to give up and make coffee.” It wasn’t entirely true, he already had a project he was working on but he was stuck so yeah, he just gave up and went for coffee. Sometimes it helped him think.

“That coffee smells like ass,” Jax says, eyeing the cup the same way T’Challa did whenever he saw Tony drink it. He absolutely _hated_ American coffee. Apparently Wakanda did something to theirs, Tony had no idea but he _insisted_ that Wakanda had better coffee. Tony didn’t give a damn where it came from; as long as there was caffeine in it he’d drink it. Jax was a coffee snob too and Tony had no idea what he did in life to be surrounded by people who betrayed him so.

“This coffee smells like heaven child, if you don’t like it that is your problem,” Tony tells him.

Jax frowns, “I don’t even believe in god,” he points out.

Right, he followed the Wakandan system of gods rather than Christianity. T’Challa should have been more worried if Jax dropped _that_ rather than making himself a nickname. He hadn’t of course, which made for some interesting conversations with his peers. “Whatever,” Tony tells him, “it smells like Bast then.”

“Bast smells like a panther because she is a panther. _That_ smells like the disappointment of million of people in Wakanda who know what real coffee is,” Jax says.

“Wakanda is a bunch of coffee snobs,” tony mumbles, drinking his _perfectly fine_ brew.

“Wakanda knows what’s up,” Jax corrects. “Can you help me with this? I have no idea what it’s asking me to do.”

Tony winces. “Sorry kid, I won’t be help. English wasn’t my strong suit, ask JARVIS,” he says. He didn’t want to leave him with no options in case he lost steam but he also wasn’t going to attempt to help the poor kid because all that will do is get him a failing grade. Tony figured a failing grade would do worse to Jax’s self-esteem than Tony telling him to ask the AI.

“You’re a genius and you can’t do English?” Jax asks incredulously.

“Nope. Can’t understand the metaphors and imagery and onomatopoeias and all that other shit at _all_. I paid someone to do my English homework,” he says and Jax shakes his head.

“Guess that doesn’t mean I’m an idiot for not understanding any of this stuff if even a genius can’t,” he says, looking back at his page.

Tony knows it more than a passing comment because he’s had the same thought about a million and one things in the past. “Nah. Everyone is bad at something and it turned out English was my Kryptonite. You’re not bad at it though or so your report cards tell me. Just get JARVIS to give you all the relevant information and you’ll get it. You got way better grades on your own than I ever did,” he says. It’s true too. Jax got excellent grades in all his subjects; Tony got excellent grades in all his subjects except the ones where he had to run in or try and figure out why the fucking curtains were blue only to find out that somehow symbolized dicks. Tony didn’t understand the interpretation of literally _anything_ when it came to English.

Jax smiles a little though and turns back to his homework and that was the goal here. To try and offer a little encouragement even if the accomplishments, to normal people, weren’t that big. And honestly if Jax figured out that English homework he was officially smarter than one of the smartest people in the world at least in one area so that was definitely an accomplishment even if it wasn’t a difficult one given how bad Tony is at the subject.

*

T’Challa waits a few days, rightfully so, before he seeks Tony out. Tony isn’t really impressed to see him, a far cry from his usual excitement because he really did love his husband, but he was more than a little annoyed at him at the moment. “I am so sorry,” T’Challa says immediately.

Tony sighs and lets him into the penthouse. “I know you are, you were the moment you said it. That doesn’t really change the general thought process that led to that statement.” It didn’t change that, like near everyone else, he saw Tony as a product of his past without ever considering the context of why he did the things he did. It didn’t make any of his behavior acceptable but it did make it understandable on some level.

T’Challa considers his next words wisely and Tony appreciates that. “It is not that I see you as your past, it would be incredibly hypocritical if I did given my own past. But I see the way people treat you, the way people make assumptions that are presumptuous at best, the way people underestimate who you are. I do not want that for my son, that is awful! But when I went to that hotel I realized that I have done nothing but treat Jakarra the way people treat you. Instead of asking questions and trying to understand why he is like this I made nasty assumptions and blamed him for my own misconceptions. I owe him an apology for that, and to you for insulting you like I did,” he says softly, not looking at Tony.

It’s a Wakandan thing, Tony knew, a symbol of humbleness that didn’t translate well to American standards. He knew because more than once Jax has gotten in shit for not looking at people when he apologized, something that threw the poor kid for a right loop. But to get this reaction from the king though? It was a sign of utmost respect. The king didn’t usually have to apologize for much and when he did it wasn’t usually the kind that would require _this_ particular kind of apology. It wasn’t something that came lightly so Tony steps forward and wraps his arms around T’Challa’s waist. “I love you, Tony, even when I say stupid things,” he says as he hugs Tony back.

“You might want to tell your kid that,” Tony tells him.

*

Tony, because he can’t leave well enough alone, totally spies on T’Challa and Jax’s talk. He sits outside the door with one of T’Challa’s cats curled up on his lap eavesdropping to see how things went. Not well at first given how annoyed Jax was but that was typical teenager stuff. T’Challa repeats his apology though and adds something new.

“When Wakandan youths reach a certain point in their lives they go on some kind of journey, one that is accompanied by a literal journey. I think maybe it is time you went on yours,” T’Challa says. Tony raises an eyebrow because all he knew about this journey thing is that T’Challa went on one and came back cured from being a spoiled brat. He got no other details.

“Are you serious?” Jax asks, sounding more surprised than tony felt. He probably had more cultural context though. Wakanda liked to keep its culture to itself most of the time so Tony only got bits and pieces whenever T’Challa explained things to him. Or Shuri.

“Have I ever told you what I was like at your age?” T’Challa asks, changing the subject inexplicably. Tony frowns because that was weird but Jax at least asks what he’s thinking.

“No, but what’s that got to do with this conversation?” he asks.

“Everything,” T’Challa tells him. “When I was your age I was a heinous little brat, an absolute bastard really.” Tony’s eyebrows shoot up because T’Challa _rarely_ used language like that _ever_ let alone all in a row in a single sentence. “My father was always patient with me and I did not deserve his patience, unlike you I could absolutely help my behavior and instead I chose to think that because I was a prince the world should bow down and kiss my feet. I thought I was better than everyone thanks to my royal status. Thank _Bast_ my father did not die when I was that age, I would have been a tyrant of a king. Anyways when I was your age he sent me off on my journey. To say I was humbled quick was an understatement. My journey helped me, maybe it will help you too,” he says.

Jax remains quiet for a long few moments before he speaks again. “I don’t think a spiritual journey will cure my depression,” he says and Tony almost laughs but he manages to keep it in. he jostles the cat though and gets a dirty look from the large, fluffy Wakandan breed for his efforts. He scratches behind the cat’s ears to make up for it and the cat accepts the peace offering with several purrs.

T’Challa laughs softly, “probably not. But it may bring you some measure of peace or something else you obviously need right now. Even if nothing happens you will do what your father did and hit rock bottom. People do not tend to stay there long, Tony certainly did not,” he says. Yeah, for his sake Tony hoped Jax never ended up where he was mentally but at least T’Challa took the time to acknowledge any worries Jax might have. It would go a long way in knowing that he’d have support later on.

“Okay,” Jax says after a few more moments of silence.

*

“So we’re sending the kid off into the forest and hoping the panthers don’t eat him?” Tony asks just to get this straight.

T’Challa sighs, “Tony the panthers are friendly, how many panthers do you have to pet to learn that in Wakanda they are used to the people?” he asks.

“They’re _jungle cats_ T’Challa, they will continue to act like jungle cats no matter how cute and cuddly they get on their own terms. Are any of the Dora Milaje following him in there or something?” he asks.

“No, this is his own journey. He will be fine,” T’Challa assures him.

Tony looks at the forest and thinks of the cushy live Jax has had. “Our kid is going to die of exposure on some crazy spirit journey where your magical panther fairy is supposedly going to tell him stuff,” he says in disbelief, shaking his head.

“Tony!” T’Challa says in a sharp tone, “that is disrespectful!”

“Our kid is about to _die_. I think Bast can take the jab,” he counters.

“It was rude nonetheless and Jakarra is not going to _die_. Believe me, if _I_ managed to survive this he will be fine. I told you how I used to be, I refused to even kill my own bugs,” he says, shaking his head in disgust at his previous behavior.

“To be fair Rhodey is a grown assed man who is a high ranking military official and he _still_ doesn’t kill his own bugs,” Tony points out.

“Rhodey is terrified of bugs, I thought I was too good to be lowered to insect killing. That is completely different. Still, our son will be fine,” T’Challa tells him as Jax walks out of the small house that was at the edge of the forest.

“You don’t think I’ll like… die out there do you?” Jax asks nervously.

“Of course not,” Tony and T’Challa say in sync. “You’ll do great,” Tony adds, smiling.

With a little bit more fussing they send off their kid, watching him disappear into the trees. “I still think he’s going to die in there. You should probably send someone after him,” Tony tells T’Challa.

“Nonsense, he will be fine. I survived my trip, he will survive his. To be fair I almost died and was mugged but Ororo saved me so I ended up fine,” he says as if this wasn’t _very important information_.

“You expect me to be okay with sending our kid off to _die_ on the hopes he runs into a badass orphan who will kick some ass for him? Also what the fuck, you didn’t tell me you met our kid’s mother on a _spirit journey_! If he dies this is your fault,” Tony tells him, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Relax Tony, he paid attention in his Wakandan geography lessons, I did not. Which was probably how I ended up in Ororo’s country but _still_. How I met her was irrelevant to her carrying our child and just because I nearly died does not mean he will. I needed to be humbled, he needs some help to find happiness or at least coping mechanisms that are not your unhealthy ones,” T’Challa says, looking worriedly into the forest. “We can hope that he does not run into spiders. They are not nice here.”

Tony almost goes after Jakarra but T’Challa holds him back, tossing him over his shoulder and walking off with him when he tries to fight it. He’s pretty sure that he sends one of the Dora Milaje to make sure their kid didn’t die in the forest though so Tony was happy enough to let it go.

**Author's Note:**

> Sidenote- if Rhodey had to kill a bug he'd be [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XQA71JG6Pk) man while doing it.
> 
> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


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